Sunday, August 10, 2008
went out with him to have dinner ytd at bukit timah near school. Went to have "zi char" as he said we seldom eat that. after which wanted to watch movie initially but wth woodlands ppl like never watch movie B4 lor. movies are like either sold out or filling fast(left wiith only 1st row).Didnt go clubbing cos first day of my "aunt visiting".But dunno at last they got go anot.
i noe my frenz are all gonna curse n swear saying why i still contact him. but seriously its hard not to do so. At a moment i really tot i could. Start out another relationship n forget him.But i think its all crap.Cos the person is there lying in yr heart and its hard, very hard i meant,to be replaced.i hate myself for being so weak and i think im so disappointed with myself.I really hate myself for still loving him so much. i cant stop treating him nice.GOSH!!! i think im the stupidest person in the world.He takes me for granted and i jolly well noe tat and after three yrs plus of torment i still wanna throw myself into such predicment?where nobody will pity me if i ever be hurt by him n tear again....wat can i say bout such a stupid me?maybe its not stupid its called 犯贱...its really crude but its only apt in this case.n tats wat ppl will say too.i really dunno wat the hell im doing with my life,its not as if nobady wans me but i cant open up my heart to anyone else.I just hate myself for being tat weak!!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!1
i know very well tat there wont be any future for us n i noe tat actually he doesnt love me as much as i love him.This is the truth tat i always noe all this yrs.But i still hanged on in hope tat there might still be a glimpse of hope tat he may change.Tough its like not gong to happen but u noe girls tend to fantasize and be too naive.Now all i hope is tat MR RIGHT would appear and save me from all these torment.But in the mean time i will also control myself not too plunge myself too deep in with him.
her sweet memory was written @ 12:48 AM